December recap

Time flies by really fast. I didn’t even write anything about Thanksgiving and here we are on Boxing day already. It has been a very busy and difficult month. So get yourself a warm beverage of choice ‘cause this is gonna be a long one!

Thanksgiving was nice and we had O and family over for a great dinner. As usual, my wife cooked a ton of food and we barely finished it all several weeks later (there are still some sweet potatoes in a small container that I’m afraid of opening to throw away….weary of something similar to  the curse of Tutankhamun happening!). The kids did fairly good considering the change of conditions (change of routine is not their friend), although we had spurts of crying, which we’ve come to expect pretty much all the time now.

For some odd reason once my parents left, the kids behaved a bit better. I’m not sure exactly why, but I think it had something to do with the change in their environment once again. We could have sworn that Isabella was going to drive us nuts asking “Where’s grandma/grandpa?” after they left, but it didn’t really happen. I guess that’s not such a bad thing because they realize who’s mama and papa and didn’t get confused (which was something the pediatrician was worried about). We have no doubt that bonding has been close to perfect for all of us. The twins both recognize their grandparents now, even when showing them some old video from past travels to Malta for family visits. We have been video-Skyping with them too and the kids play along and respond really well.

On the health front, we’ve been very busy. Isaac has been doing very well in Physical Therapy and we finally got some slots in for Occupational Therapy, twice a week. Unfortunately next year our benefits for therapy are very limited (thanks Health Insurance companies for keeping us hostage for the good of your own shareholder profits) and according to some estimates, we can only get a total of about 12 sessions next year (that’s both P.T. and O.T.), which is not even close to what Isaac’s needs are. And oh, last time I was mistaken about the cost of a 45 minute session; I was told that prior to meeting our deductible, it’s $309 per session!! I sure hope that’s incorrect (perhaps that’s not the “discounted” rate) and if so, we might be able to get a few more in than currently estimated. Isaac is having a bit more trouble with O.T. as keeping focus is not an easy thing for him. Due to our situation, they told us that they would be able to work with us on a home program to help cut down on clinic visits, which we’re very grateful for.

We also had a developmental evaluation at TCH. The interview lasted for close to an our and a half and the clinical psychologist observed the kids and listened to our stories of the kid’s past, their behavior, etc. We were very encouraged that she didn’t see major behavioral issues, as she said “Remember, they’re very young kids!”. We’re new parents and have nothing to compare to except our own childhoods, so we’re quite lost at times (make that “all the time”!). We spent some time discussing how we can improve our parenting skills and she suggested we read the book Parenting the Strong-Willed Child. I’m almost half way through and I really recommend this to all parents, not only ones with strong-willed kids. Actually after reading through descriptions of strong-willed behavior, I can say that the twins don’t come close to being THAT difficult, although they do exhibit a few “symptoms” (Isabella in particular) which I think are mostly the result of attention deficits. The tips discussed in the book and the general approach to communicating with kids has already helped me a lot over the last weeks, especially in focusing on rewarding good behavior, which is very hard to do when you’re so consumed with the bad x 2 kids! However this shift in focus has actually improved the bad behavior a LOT. More on that later.

We also had speech evaluation and Isabella did pretty good, although she can definitely benefit from some speech therapy. Lori was impressed with how much she seems to be learning in pre-school. Her lack of concentration is an issue and you have to constantly remind her to keep her focus, snapping your fingers, making loud noises (like clapping) etc. If something interests her a lot though, it’s getting easier to maintain involvement. This has become clearer when they watch TV, with her attentive stint usually longer than that of Isaac. His evaluation went fairly well too and as expected, he definitely needs a lot of help through speech therapy. On the upside though, it seems there are no other issues impeding his speech development besides the obvious. In a few weeks we’ll re-test hearing after doing further ear cleaning last week.

At the Developmental evaluation they suggested we look into PPCD, especially for Isaac. The diagnosticians at our school district have observed the kids in their pre-K environment and then looked more closely at Isaac in our Elementary School. There hasn’t been a 100% conclusion yet but it’s almost sure that Isaac will be admitted in their half-day program. He’ll receive a good amount of P.T., O.T. and Speech therapy through this and we’ll see how he progresses. He made a positive impact on the teachers with his friendly temperament, even though he had a bad start that morning due to another seizure which required a shot of Diastat.

Speaking of seizures….persistence paid off and we got an appointment for Neurology. We’ll be changing Isaac’s medication as his current one can have an adverse effect on liver function and is not controlling his seizures anyway. It took about 4 days to cut through the red-tape and get it (thanks again, Health Insurance companies). They approved it just for once and we’ll have to go through some process to perhaps get them to cover the medication in the future. It cost us $50 for just this one bottle, so don’t think we’re getting it for free! Doctors and specialists act in the best interest of their patients and prescribe appropriate medications. However we then have to wrestle with Health Insurance companies, who seem to know better what’s best for our health (their pockets, really). If you can’t tell, I’m really ticked off at the complete waste of time resulting from this. Anyway, we also had a follow-up visit with the pediatrician who has noticed positive improvement. Both got the flu and H1N1 vaccines and Isaac also got two more immunization shots. We’re now waiting for the results of a couple more blood tests on him. As you can see, quite a busy month!

Behavior was becoming an issue at school, where Isabella started imitating her brother’s bad traits, laughing at the teachers and running out of class. We were very firm and consistent, putting her to bed early on each occurrence, causing major meltdowns. A few weeks ago, I even had to “take the bike back to the store” and Isabella would constantly ask for it, questioning “Isabella good?”. It is quite funny and endearing actually, but we held off to see if she could have two good days in a row, which didn’t really happen. Then the worst behavior at school started and that’s when we resorted to even tougher consequences. I spent some time talking to her after she gained composure and seemed more thoughtful and focused about the situation. Next day we seemed to turn a corner (on Tuesday 22nd) and she was SOOO excited to have behaved well in school that she couldn’t wait to have mama call me and let me know about it. The questioning tone turned into an enthusiastic “Isabella good!, Isabella GOOD!” and so I promised to “get the bike back”. After pulling into the garage, uncovering the bike and taking it in, I was greeted with a shriek of happiness and some more “Isabella good”. I’ve been really making a huge effort to be sweeter and more attending to her, and she’s responding very well. Lori was already sweet and attending (papa was the tough one) but I’m adapting to a different style than what worked with me as a kid! The book mentioned previously gives some great tips on how to make this work but it does require some effort to change your thinking.

We also had a couple great days when Carol came over and visited for a few days. The kids enjoyed her company and she could see them doing better than the last time she saw them when departing Nikopol. We also met up with the Bush family in Discovery Green (which we termed as “The Houstonian Nikopol Reunion”!). Lori couldn’t make it after being hit with food poisoning late that afternoon. I didn’t do too bad with both kids by myself as I had Carol’s help (like old times eh??). I goofed and lost my bearings after parking in a garage structure, so we got there extra late. Shame on me, but next time I’ll remember that there’s a parking garage right under the site…duh!! We had a great time though and always enjoy some great company. Lucas and Emma are very well-behaved and sweet kids, which is something we aspire to see our kids grow into. We have a looooong way to go!

Isaac and Isabella finally met their other Grandpa. It took a while for it to register that they had another Grandpa, but I think they got it. They kept asking “Grandma too?” but we just said that only Grandpa was coming and left it at that. We went through the same ritual of explaining that this is Mama’s Papa and so on and so forth.

And then there was Christmas Day (I promise, I’m almost done with this novel). Lori bought them a ton of little gifts, some of which were intended to drive me nuts, such as a drum set. So far I have not seen extraordinary rhythmic talent, but we’ll give it a longer chance ;) Their absolute most favorite toy was a personal CD player. Isaac also got his own and they’ve both been jamming all along. Isabella sometimes acts a scary version of Ray Charles, swaying from side to side while giggling and laughing in her pink sunglasses, while Isaac repeatedly asks us to put on the Itsy Bitsy Spider song for him. I need to burn a CD with about 20 instances of that song and I’ll make him the happiest kid on earth!

Late at night on Christmas, the kids and I laid down on the carpet playing with foam blocks. It was the first time I managed to get both of them interested at the same time, so that was the best Christmas present for me. 20 minutes of play doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a start.

They woke up really early on Christmas morning, excited about opening presents. Isabella had been asking to “open it” all week long, tearing a piece of wrapping here and there while snooping around when we’re not watching. Christmas wore them out pretty good, as it has done to me writing all this. Sleep tight!

Birthday and more fun!

We’re now 5 years old!

They probably still don’t know what this celebration was all about, but it won’t take much longer for sure. We held their first party on Saturday at Chuck E. Cheese and let me tell you…my head still hurts thinking about it. My wife had it all planned out and it seems to be some sort of “must” for every kid to have a party there. I don’t feel deprived at all for not having been born in the US and missing out on such a party. I’m not no sure I want to EVER set foot again in that place. It was sooo crowded and noisy and…full of hyper kids! But then what do we do with the remaining tokens?

We had a lot of fun though and so did the twins. Isabella was fascinated at the big rat, especially the mechanical one on the stage. She kept opening up the curtains and peeking in. Then once the big guy came out to sing for all the birthday kids, they wouldn’t let him go! It was quite funny to see. A good number of our friends came along and we’re glad to have had their company on this special day.

Oh, the cakes; Lori decided to do one for each. It won’t be hard to guess which one’s who’s. Did I say that right?

 

On Friday (their birthday) we went to a car show at George R. Brown Convention Center. My dad loved it and the kids behaved pretty well as we walked around tons of cars and custom bikes. Isaac was in heaven with all the wheels around him. I really enjoyed the show cars at the front entry.

Finally last Sunday, we went to the Wortham Center in downtown Houston to see The Nutcracker. The kids did really good and seem to have liked it a lot. It was funny to hear Isaac scream after acts that he really liked. He surely showed his enthusiasm!

Grandma and Grandpa left for Malta last Tuesday. Isabella threw a fit when she realized Isaac will go back to sleep in his bedroom from now on. It took a few minutes to calm her down but somehow I managed to put a stop to the melt-down. They enjoyed the last two months of sleeping together, but now we’re back to our usual routine. They have to wake up early to go to pre-school and being separated helps them sleep faster since it avoids the usual goofing off! Hopefully once I get back to normal working hours (project deadline looming…long days, short nights, no weekends) we can get the new bikes that grandpa and grandma bought for their birthday out to the park and bite some dust.

More Health and Education news

It’s been a while and I’d better catch up!

On the health front, Isaac had a follow up visit with his Urologist and so far everything seems great. They want to see him one more time in 6 months to confirm that everything remained normal and that would probably be the last visit.

Physical Therapy has been going quite well since his third visit. The therapists work hard in the beginning to gain the kids’ trust and to be seen as an authority figure. Lori took Isaac for his first session and they let her into the gym, but since then, I’ve always remained in the waiting room while they worked together. They have been making him wear a weighted vest and it seems to have worked wonders for his concentration. I think we need to get us one at home! We really wanted to start Occupational Therapy but they’re backed up at the hospital. Our medical benefits have changed for next year and we won’t be able to do much O.T. without forking a ton of money out of pocket as Medical Insurance will only cover a limited amount (I think it’ll be used up within a few weeks). In my opinion the cost of therapy is ridiculously high. If I’m not mistaken the full cost is about $190 for a 40 minute session. Yikes!

We got a call about an appointment that opened up last week so we had our Developmental Evaluation moved up. This was great news as it meant we only paid the coinsurance amount for Isabella and nothing for Isaac since he’s met the maximum out of pocket for the year. The psychologist didn’t seem to have major concerns and educated us a bit more about FAS/FAE. From what we were told, it seems that a diagnosis of FAS is only done based on the presence of a number of facial features. In the case of the twins, this doesn’t seem to be applicable. So even though exposure has been confirmed, FAS as a diagnosis is probably not likely, although effects of such exposure cannot be excluded and are unknown, as they manifest themselves throughout the developmental years at various levels of intensity. We were encouraged by the observations made and hope to keep helping the kids progress. We were encouraged to read “Parenting the Strong-Willed Child” and seek further assistance if needed. And yes, we’re talking about Isabella here, who was originally portrayed as the angel of the two! My, how things have changed.

Some of the behaviors we described were quite normal for kids their age. This was helpful news as we don’t have other children to compare to! As new parents, it’s quite difficult to navigate your way through and figure out what’s considered normal and what could be a “symptom” or potential problem. We were also advised to look into PPCD (Pre-School Programs for Children with Disabilities) due to the delays present, speech issues, etc. We’re not sure Isabella will qualify, but tomorrow a diagnostician from the Elementary School in our area and someone else will go observe the kids at Pre-School to determine if further evaluation is necessary. If that is the case, they might then be admitted into such program for 5 days a week, half days.

The nice thing about this program is that it targets areas of development such as Speech, O.T., Gross Motor skills etc. which can help them catch up. This is particularly important for Isaac. In the current pre-school they don’t get that kind of specialized tutoring. As part of PPCD, educators work an individualized educational plan to strengthen their deficiencies so they perform better once they join kindergarten. Also, just because they join PPCD doesn’t mean they’ll always need special education from now on. However this might give them the required crash-course/jolt to offset the shortcomings of their early developmental years. We’ll see where this goes in the coming days.

Finally today I decided to call and see if we could move Isaac’s Neurology appointment before the end of the year (lost count how many times I tried). Luckily someone had cancelled and we’re now scheduled for a visit on the10th of December, the same day as his speech evaluation. That’s great news for us as from what we understand, Neurology ain’t cheap! The more we can do this year, the more that will be available next year for other things.

Behavior, Health and Halloween Monsters

So let’s see where we left off last time…Isaac’s surgery went well and he’s all recovered. The MRI results came back and showed the potential effects of FAS (shortened Corpus Callosum). I’m using the word “potential” because the effects of pre-natal alcohol are not something of absolute certainty and vary from individual to individual. Doctors like to look at other possible issues such as genetic abnormalities etc. In the case of the twins, there are developmental differences that they want to make sure are not the result of something else. As of now FAS is at the top of the list in explaining Isaac’s problems and other behavioral issues that have become more evident with Isabella. In future posts I intend to post further details as we learn more about the effects of FAS. Before we adopted, this used to be something we didn’t want to deal with but as we learn more about it and thanks to some adoptive families that shared their own personal experiences, we feel like we can help our children lead an independent life, even though it won’t always be roses, butterflies and rainbows ;)

The twins have had a couple of really bad days with their grandparents. I think that their proneness to ADHD makes it difficult sometimes to focus and listen. Behaving properly is difficult for a brain that cannot focus and jumps from one thing to the next. For a while it was difficult to figure out what we can withhold as a punishment. Now we mention vetoing toys, Barney (ugh!) and riding in the car if they don’t behave. After an abysmally bad Monday, they’ve had a much better two days, although they did start misbehaving a bit again today. After some timeouts on the couch, they improved. Once I got back from work and Isabella was all over me with hugs and kisses, we had the “talk” and she sombered up as her head lowered during my speech. Isaac didn’t want to talk about it obviously but motioned that he was sorry. Hopefully as we continue to mention these punishments, they will think twice before getting out of control. I’m sure we’ll have many instances where these punishments will be enforced before they “get it”.

Isaac has now started Physical Therapy once a week to work on his fine motor skills and gait training. Getting his attention is the biggest challenge, but hopefully once he gets on a schedule and we start working on specifics with him at home, it’ll get better. We re-did Audiology testing, but one test (tympanogram) was inconclusive yet again due to wax buildup. His ear canals are very small and the reduced volume has a big effect. The other test went great and he passed with flying colors. So we’ll retest before the end of the year after more ear drops and wax cleaning.

But it wasn’t all health and behavior problems; we had some fun too! For Halloween, Lori dressed up the twins as clowns. I think the idea was really inspired by Isaac, the real clown.

The costumes fit them great and they wore them on our non-traditional outing. What better way to spend Halloween than to go see some loud “Monsters” in person? We all enjoyed the outing, but Isaac was the most excited (my father was a close second).

 

Yes, Monsters with wheels! It was a great contrast between insanely big and oh so small.

We took pictures with Isaac and Isabella sitting on the wheels of one of the trucks, which turned out to be the winner of the night.

 

We like to think they brought a lot of luck to “Tail Gator”. It was a chilly night of great value for some awesome, loud family fun. The twins don’t yet understand Halloween, so a non-traditional celebration was a better option for us. We all enjoyed the truck-donuts and freestyle events. We were rednecks for a night!

The first 100 days

It’s been a roller-coaster, mostly fun and rewarding, but it hasn’t been easy. Discovering what issues the kids might be affected with, learning about their family and their first days of life was the most difficult part so far. We’ve had plenty of medical visits, bills piling up, etc., but some great days have offset all the other difficulties put together. We’re not doing too bad at this parenting thing! Ahh, on-the-job training.

Isaac’s MRI testing was done and we’re still waiting for results. He wasn’t a happy kid coming out of anesthesia and I’m not looking forward to tomorrow’s surgery. Due to cancellations, we were moved up from a 9:30am surgery to a 7:30am appointment, which means leaving the house around 5am to get there at 6am. Meaning waking up even earlier! I’d rather someone shoot me than go to bed early. See? It’s 10:15pm and I’m typing this up instead of sleeping =)

This past weekend the kids got to experience the Houston Symphony at Jones Hall in downtown Houston. They have a great program targeted for kids on Saturday mornings and we decided to give it a shot. My wife doesn’t like symphonies. She says something on the line of “what’s the point of watching music?? I’d rather watch a play!”. Needless to say it makes my blood boil and jaw drop to the floor. But what can one do? Anyway, the kids did great and regardless of whether they end up culturally inclined towards classical music or not, they’re at least getting exposed to new things, learning how to behave in public, encouraging them  to focus their attention on something, etc. They seem to have enjoyed it overall, especially when the volume was high. Isaac was particularly alert when percussion was active, but when the notes got too soft, he starting to doze off and snooze! I held him on my lap most of the time while Isabella sat by Lori. They had no clue what the “Wizard of Oz” was, but you gotta start somewhere. Lori dressed Isaac in a great outfit (thanks Lucas!) and he looked like a conductor. The only flaw was that we forgot to purchase any dressy shoes for him, so we had to go with the trusty “Cars” sporty shoes. I like to think of him as a little version of “House”. So that’s the next thing on the to-buy list. Here’s the gang heading for downtown & Isaac pointing at cars.

These were taken before the performance started. It was only an hour long.

Later we went for lunch at Buca di Beppo and ate a LOT.

Fleur and Elton, this is for you! And yes, there’s still leftovers in the fridge. Did you think we were gonna eat all that at once?? Especially not after myself and my parents munched down a Buca Large, meant for 4 to 6 people? PS: My Dad ate most of it and boasted he could chow it down on his own. Bluff!

Ok this post is getting long and I gotta go to bed. So I’ll end it with some more pictures from an outing yesterday with our great friends A, G and O + parents at Old MacDonald Farm. Here’s to the next 100!

Thanks O for the “O-some” photos!

 

25%

No, that’s not how much I saved by switching to Geico =)

It’s hard to believe but we’ve been home exactly 3 months…25% of a year. So much has changed and every now and then we look at “old” photos and observe how quickly the kids are growing.

We recently did a birth search (email me if you want her details…I highly recommend her) and found that the weights we were given at the orphanage were not their birth weights but the ones of when they registered them at the first orphanage. Isabella was born at 2kg (4.4lbs) and Isaac was a whopping 400g (14.1oz). No, that’s not a mistake! This week we had the cardiology visit and got a call to confirm the weight I wrote down as they thought it was a mistake. Anyway, Isabella was born first at home and Isaac was born on the ambulance en route to the hospital. Isabella spent 5 days in the hospital, 15 days with her birth mom and aunt, and was then sent to an orphanage. Isaac spent 2 months in maternity hospital (oxygen chamber) and then went straight to the orphanage. He was never in his birth mom’s arms. The kids were then probably moved to the Nikopol orphanage at 5 months old.

Their family (aunts and birth father) want to keep in touch and we’ll try to send them updates. The family story is quite sad and you could easily say it was torn apart due to heavy alcohol abuse. It’s very unfortunate and we hope the kids were not too severely effected and can lead an independent life.

On the health front, the cardiologist cleared Isaac and saw nothing abnormal in his EKG, with his murmur within functional limits. Isabella’s murmur is barely audible, however he saw something minor in the EKG which he wants to confirm in a year (he was comparing to 4 year old and 5 year old benchmarks and since she falls in between, he couldn’t confirm with certainty so he wants to make absolutely sure). So Isaac is now cleared for sedation and can have his MRI on the 15th October and surgery to correct his cryptorchidism on the 20th of October. We now need to schedule speech and development evaluations.

Isaac’s medicine dosage was increased and it seems to have kept seizures at bay for the time being. We’re now almost a month since the latest event. Over the last couple of months he was having a fit on 3 week intervals, so this adjustment seems to be helping. Since the last hospital measurements (39 days), Isaac gained another 0.66lbs and grew 0.94” in height. Isabella gained the same weight (can’t say we’re not feeding them equally!) and grew 0.51” in height.

We had a blast at South Padre Island. The kids were introduced to a lot of new things such as riding a boat and watching dolphins, climbing into a lighthouse, tumbling in the surf, gulping nasty salty water and visiting a museum. Their appetite tripled around the coast and they finally got some color. Oh, and I forgot pirates…..aaaarrrgggh!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

School, Grandparents and Vacation

The kids keep progressing. Isaac wears his glasses fine at home but rebels against them in school. It takes some evening and morning reminding to help in wearing them longer in school. He’s thrown them across the class too and popped out a screw, which caused a lens to come undone. We weren’t too happy about that and he understood how upset we were. On nights and weekends he keeps them on at all times and knows how to put them on and adjust when necessary. Now that we’re on vacation for two weeks we have the opportunity to drill it in him how important it is to wear them at all times and so far it seems to be helping.

Isabella has had a few bad days at pre-K. She’s thrown dirt at others, ran away from teachers (out of the classroom) and has also spit at them. Throwing dirt and spitting are things we’ve seen her do at the orphanage and we thought she had outgrown them but somehow she started again. She thinks it’s great fun and has a distinct laugh when being mischievous (think Beavis and Butthead…she has the Beavis laugh!). We keep reminding her that such things are unacceptable and she seems to do better when reminded frequently. As to running away, that’s quite new but once again she thinks it’s fun. Hopefully the nightly talks before bedtime will help dispel the myth that such things are “fun”.

Isabella used to cry at bed time, ALL the time. She’d call for mama and if Lori stood by her for a while and then left to go to bed herself, she’d cry for her anyway, yell, then rock her head and cry herself to sleep. So recently I started to sit and talk to her before going to bed, telling her not to cry and that mama and papa will be here in the morning, encouraging her that she doesn’t need to cry because she’s a big girl (Lori doesn’t like that comment. I think it helps instill self-esteem…but what do I know?!). So far it’s been working and she seems to have snapped out of it. In fact this week we’re in South Padre island and mama isn’t with us (she couldn’t make it due to work) but she has been going to bed without the usual fuss.

Grandma Rose and Grandpa Joe arrived last Thursday afternoon. I picked them up at the airport and then we drove home to unload and wait for Lori to come home with the kiddos after picking them up from pre-K. The twins were happy to see them, even though they probably had no clue who they were! I kept telling them that these were my mama and papa and they stared at me in bewilderment. It was kinda funny and Isabella has learned to call them “grandpa” and “grandma”. Isaac finds it easier to call them using the Maltese version “nanna” and “nannu”, although mom noticed him mumbling “grandpa” quite clearly a couple of times. Obviously he won’t repeat when asked and starts laughing. They got plenty of gifts from family back in Malta and they still haven’t opened them all as we’re trying to release them slowly.

Later on Thursday we went to the Cheesecake factory for a quick bite. My parents had a “small” burger and we obviously took photos while they opened their mouths to get their first bites of American bounty.

  

Isabella sat between them and kept blowing kisses. They really didn’t complain…

On Saturday Isaac was helping my mom to fold the sheets. He’s now sleeping in his sister’s bedroom on the trundle bed while my parents use his bedroom with the full-size mattress and other trundle if needed. Isabella actually loves to use the lower bed and lets her brother sleep on the higher side. They giggle away for a long time and takes them longer to sleep.

As I said earlier, we’re spending the week in South Padre island at the company condo. It’s been 2 years since our last visit and we love it here at the end of September/beginning of October. The weather is still nice and warm (it’s actually quite hot) and very quiet around here. We have met with the x-president of the firm I work for and his family. The twins have finally socialized and played with their kids today at the pool. The surf was a bit rough so we skipped the beach and headed for the pool, where they loved jumping in the cool, clear water. We plan on taking them on a dolphin-watch trip and more swimming of course in the coming days. They’ve been eating a lot and now have a nice tan. I’m just having too much fun and keep reminding myself that I need to stop and take some photos and videos!